The Second Protection: Why Self-Kindness is a Power Move (Not a Weakness)

I’d like to take a moment to talk about something most high-achievers struggle with: being kind to ourselves.

Many attorneys and professionals operate in a high-pressure, high-accountability world where self-criticism feels like a necessary tool for success. But in reality, the harsher we are on ourselves, the more we diminish our clarity, confidence, and resilience. Loving-Kindness, known as the second protection of the mindfulness Four Protections, isn’t about lowering your standards—it’s about changing your inner dialogue. Being kind to ourselves enhances resilience and strengthens our ability to navigate the challenges of our work and life.

This theme came up in my recent conversation with Andrea Yang on Conscious Corner Podcast with Annie + Courtney, where she shared something very powerful that shows up in many of our lives: We often are not a very good friend to ourselves. We tend to hold ourselves to impossible standards. By watering our innate seeds of kindness, we grow stronger. It allows us to maintain our balance under pressure, helping us show up as our most effective, strategic, and focused selves.

Why It Matters:

✅ Self-criticism activates the threat response, making it harder to think clearly under pressure.

✅ Self-kindness activates the resilience response, helping us recover from setbacks faster.

✅ When we treat ourselves with the same care we offer others, we make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and sustain our energy longer.

How to Apply It in a High-Stakes Career:

🔹 Pause and notice – When something goes wrong, catch your inner dialogue. Is it supportive or harsh?

🔹 Reframe failure – Instead of “shoulding on ourselves” with phrases like, “I should have known better” or “I shouldn’t have done that,” try “I did the best I could with the information I had at that moment.”

🔹 Use a simple self-kindness phrase – Try saying: “This is hard, but I’m doing my best.”

When we meet ourselves with kindness, we don’t just feel better—we think better, perform better, and lead better.

💬 What’s one small way you can bring more kindness into your work this week? Let me know!

Looking for More Support?

To learn more about the mindfulness Four Protections, or for additional mindfulness resources tailored to attorneys and high-performing professionals, navigate my newly rebranded website, where I offer free, guided meditations, articles, and strategies to help you find ease and build resilience.

Have Questions about Mindfulness or the Ways It Can Support You?

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Want to Learn More From My Discussion with Andrea?

You can catch the full conversation on Spotify and YouTube now.

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